Absence makes the heart grow stronger. I respectfully disagree. Yes, absence may very well create a deeper longing. However, a lot of times it just puts distance between us. Sometimes we may begin to forget. The emotions, the yearning or the passions being fully present inside of us. It sounds as if I am describing a distant failing love affair. Maybe I am. Love takes time and usually, some hard work. Writing is that for me.
I am completely in love with writing. It gives me strength and release and healing. Writing is an outlet for me at times indescribable. Mostly because when I look back over a lot of my pieces I feel as if I'm reading someone else's words. I speak to myself at times, how I speak to you. In hopes to reach out and touch someone with my words. "I write because I have to", I've said before. Which is probably why lately, I've felt so disconnected and alone. My dear friend who helps me sort through and rummage about my thoughts and feelings has been missing for a while. I know she's there. I see her, sometimes just blankly staring out into the world around her. Maybe waiting for a big bright beautiful light bulb to appear over her head. After all, if she's going to put words on paper it must be meaningful and poignant! Surely no one wants to read stripped down, mundane simplicity?
Yet, sometimes that's all life is giving. If we close one eye and carefully peer through the cracks of light showing through, distance becomes a bit more focused. We don't necessarily become any closer to it, but it somehow gives us a little relief. That it's still out there. Waiting for us to catch up.
My love of writing is tricky. I said in my last post, I write what I need to read...to get to know myself. However, that doesn't cancel out the fact that I'm still flawed in this relationship. I get lazy. I plug my ears and squeeze my eyes shut so I can ignore my love begging me for more. Life gets messy around us all the time and THEN, I believe, is when we are supposed to push ourselves harder. Be better. Be stronger. Create even more love in our relationships. A true test of what dedication and commitment is.
Absence will, at times, cause the heart to grow fonder. Without certain things we tend to long for them more. Although, be very careful. In an instant our longing can turn to regret. Our missing can become tiresome and what once was a fuel in an undying flame can, before we know it, be only ashes glowing in the distance.
Whatever it is for you, that burns so very hot and deep within your soul...your passion, be careful with too much distance. Although a true love will never really disappear, always there inside of us, the further we allow it to remain absent, the harder it is to reach through those cracks and pull it back.
I always feel the need to thank anyone who continues to read my writing. Including every version of myself. So, thank you.
Be kind. Love hard. Live honest!
