I Am, Therefore I Write

 I am a mother. I am a daughter and a sister. I am a partner(w2b). I am a caregiver. I am a cook. I am a homemaker. A multitasker. I am spiritual without religion. I give and I love. I am kind and honest. Compassionate yet structured. Kind yet strong. I am flawed, physically as well as mentally and emotionally. I swear. I'm loud. I rarely give up yet peacefully give in. I forgive. I repent. I am an optimist. My cup runneth over!

 I love art. In every way shape and form. Music and film, books, magazines, photography. Any expression of art. Any creation of art. From idea to execution, the path or the outlet are of no matter. I am an artist. 
I create each and everyday, something different. Day in and day out, I am driven by a fiery passion that ignites upon waking. Some days it's only to create a beautiful breakfast! Or to fill the house with nature and scents that make you want to fall in love again! Or to rearrange furniture(yes, still an art) or to meticulously arrange a bookshelf. And some days it is to allow my ever so flawed, yet shamelessly loyal  mind, to speak through words on paper (or keyboard).

 I am a writer. It has taken me my life's entirety to be able to use such a bold title. All I do is write what's on my mind. All I do is jot down some poetry here and there. All I do is scribble some lyrics and strum along now and then. All I do is share a thought here and there that I think others may like to read. That's ALL. 

That's all but it's everything to me! I love to write. To feel and to express. To be silenced would be maddening. A version of insanity. 

I have always written. Not always shared. I hold no degree or diploma. No awards or recognitions. Only the simplest acknowledgement from myself and those closest to me that writing is essential for my well being. A part of what makes me whole. 

Therefore, I write. 

*I would like to additionally say, this Blog came to me when I began to further entertain the idea of writing a blog "for real". To share with others and any network of readers I could get interested in what I have to say. I wondered what would my answer be if someone were to ask, "Who is Becky?" 

There is no specific "about" to my blog...yet. I'm not sure if there ever will be. However, it is ALL important to me so, maybe it would be important to all of you! After all, Ive begun to notice (what I have suspected for some time now) that we all indeed are very much alike! Right down to the core. The messy, mistaken, regretful, complicated and often frightful core that we all harbor deep inside of us. SOMEHOW I have ended up on a positive, happy note and thought, I want to share some of these thoughts and feelings! Because on the flip side, there is a yearning in all of us to embrace all that messy and still shine with our giddy, powerful, slap happy selves! 

Yes! 

So, when someone asks me, "Who are you, Becky?" I will proudly boast, "Here's my blog post, read it!" (well you can't expect me to remember all this emotional poetry at any given time, can you?!)

;)

As always, thank you for giving my brain blurbs some time out of your precious day! I truly appreciate so much love and support. Let the experience begin! 

"Go Big or Go Home"...personal translation, Go Big and Stay Home

What's a girl to do when her days seem to be filled with voids? Yes, emptiness. Darkness. Motionlessness. The literal sense. 

(Before I go any further, let me clarify any selfish, ungrateful or dismissive attitude expressed in this post is of the temporary kind. I am truly thankful, typically, on a daily basis) 

And therein lies my point. Even when your rise and shine is a little lackluster, there is always a speck of positivity to hold onto. Admittingly, some days your grip needs to be a bit tighter. 

So here is my most recent dilemma; Where exactly is my light? Again, literally, but also metaphorically. How then do I begin to move? Setting wheels in motion and filling these voids with purpose and connection. A reconnection really, with myself!  To scoop Becky up off of the floor and start taking better care of her. And then continuing to care. 

Maintaining a connection within is truly taking care of yourself, but reconnecting is a whole other task. It is in this REconnectiion where all the work takes place. And for me personally, knowing where to begin is by far the most difficult. 

I feel change coming. I feel scary, bold, unnerving, even uncomfortable in some ways, change ahead. 

I do believe I may just welcome it in! Good morning change, would u care for a warm steamy cup of "bring it on"?! 

*note-My appoligies for the cryptic self serving post here but, I actually do feel I'm going somewhere with this. Hang in there for me a little longer...more to come, I assure you!